Friday, June 4, 2010

Dream Sequence Blogfest

Amalia from Good to Begin Well, Better to End Well, is holding this awesome Blogfest. The mysterious Dream Sequence!!!!

Don't we all love to read about dreams? In books, every dream is prophetic, otherwise, it shouldn't be there, right? Hmmm, at least that's what I think. I believe we need to be careful how we write them because it could create a false sense of reality to the reader and may cause disappointment. Dreams are very cliche, too, but if the dream is written well, I bet we can get away with it, don't you?

Here is a dream from my YA Rock Star, (how Moggie's chapter starts out--I had him recognize that he was dreaming so as to orientate the reader and avoid disappointment, let me know if it worked!):


Moggie stumbled in the darkness—his arms out, fingers splayed. This had to be another one of his dreams. Twists and turns made him feel like a scrambling rat. Sweat trickled down his brow. He swore. How he hated not seeing where he was going. Frenzied whispers choked his breath. His hands shook, and his heart dropped.

All he could think was Zag lost in this upturned maze. He had to get to him before anything could happen. Just like the very real night so many years ago . . . the terror of the howling fire consumed him. He squeezed his eyes shut. It was his fault. They were orphaned before their tenth birthday. He should’ve listened when Zag warned matches were dangerous . . .

Where was his brother? Anxiety, fear, panic. A coil of molten rock in his heart. His emotions reared and kicked and thrashed.

“Zag?” he shouted into the cutting gloom, trembling. Heavy sick twisted his gut. He searched for any hope of light. The dark was suffocating and thick. Hisses barbed his skull. He clutched his ears and roared.

His breath loud. His thoughts desperate. His body reeling.

“Zag?” Still no answer.

A loud thump sounded. Soft glow warmed the shadows. Moggie grinned and rushed forward. He jolted to a quick stop, his gaze round and wild. Red. Red everywhere. His jaw quivered with a gasp.

Blood!

“Moggie?” A sharp knock sounded. Hollow and loud.

He whipped around, his fists flying. Nothing but red. He lost his balance, and collided into something hard, cold and flat. Wrenching stabs vibrated through him. He moaned and opened his eyes—though he had sworn they were open already. The knock sharpened into heavy pounding, then a deafening crash.

“Hey! What’re ya doing on the floor?” Hands yanked him to his feet, his vision hazy.

Moggie’s head swam, and his world tipped. Wait, how did he end up in the dressing room? “I—what?” He blinked many times into blaring, fluorescent lights. What was going on? A sharp ache coiled through his head and he groaned.

“Were you having that nightmare?”

“Hu?” He lifted his head and stared at a familiar face through knotted hair. A dancing blue gaze and dirty blond braids. A thrill of relief burst through him and he chortled. “Zag? Wow, yeah, I think I was.” His brother was not dead!

“You’ve gotta quit worrying about me so much,” he said with a shake of his head, a smile stretching wide.

“I can’t help it. You’re my baby brother and I swore to keep you safe.” How could Zag not see? Didn’t he realize how real these dreams felt? The agony?



Go here for more dreaming! ;)

39 comments:

  1. Dreams always feel so real, don't they, Elizabeth? You captured the fear and the intensity of nightmare excellently. I miss your visits at my blog.

    Have a great weekend, Roland

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  2. Very intense and realistic dream. You captured it all; the fear, the disorientation. Great job. :)

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  3. A little bit purple but effective. Dreams are just crazy like that.

    Nice job!

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  4. Hello, Roland, thank you! I'll go visit your blog right now--it's been crazy here with everything going on. *Sigh*

    Sarahjayne, thank you!

    Michelle, thank you!

    Andrew, thank you. Yeah, I do love my purple, not sure how to write feelings otherwise... hmmm. thank you! :D

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  5. Nice. The only thing that jumped out at me and made me go ??? was "He clutched his ears and roared." Like a lion? a bear? Or is it the fire roaring?

    Otherwise, I liked the feel of it and the intensity of his fear for his brother spiked with the guilt.

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  6. Hi Charity! I was thinking he screamed, but it was so intense, it sounded like a roar. Thank you! :)

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  7. I think this captures the character's fear really well.

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  8. I love the intensity of his fear. You really believe he is terrified.

    Love it - bad dreams are always such a fun read... ;o)

    Visit My Kingdom Anytime

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  9. I like that your imagery is all so connected. The fire, the sweating and heat, the molten coil in his heart. All very cloying and claustophobic causing.

    Great sequence.

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  10. I think it was a good choice to identify this as a dream in the beginning, and I think it worked really well with the imagery, which was just dreamy enough, but not so dreamy that it didn't feel like reality.

    Thanks for participating!

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  11. Nice. Very scary dream. I felt like I was right there with him. Haunting and disorienting. Good job!

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  12. In fear his greatest anxiety emerged. I was right there with him but hoping too.

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  13. Nicely done--very disorienting and suspenseful. :-)

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  14. Very realistic dream, very scary scene...although I don't think you need to add the 'it must be a dream' thing...I don't know about you but I hardly ever realize I'm dreaming when I'm dreaming. It would add to the scary-ness and give a moment of relief when the reader realizes oh, it's just a dream!

    And I like your prose, purple or pink or green or however you want to colour it. ; )

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  15. Good job of projecting the emotions in this scene :)

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  16. Very intense and emotional. You did a great job of decorating the scene with dread! Nice work!!

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  17. Stu, thank you! :)

    Courtney, thank you! ;)

    Raquel, thank you! :D

    Amalia, thank you and you're welcome! :)

    Angie, thank you! :)

    Elaine, thank you. :)

    Sharon, thank you! :)

    Tessa, thank you, that means a lot to me! ;)

    Jemi, thank you! :D

    DL, thank you! :)

    Thank you everyone, for your compliments! <3

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  18. Great scene. It is intense. And yes I love to read about dreams and dream scenes.

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  19. Hi Amber! I love to see you here. Thank you! <3

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  20. Wow. Epic! Truly intense, caught me up and kept me reading. Great!

    My favorite line: "A dancing blue gaze and dirty blond braids." So poetic!

    <3 Kelsey Leigh

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  21. I'm not so good at dream sequences. Thanks for posting yours! It was thrilling!

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  22. Nice. It was very suspenseful. Gripped me from the start.

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  23. The fear and guilt, it all led to a great development of this boy and the impact of his past. Really well done.

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  24. Riveting, it was suspenseful and read like a dream. Great job!

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  25. Kelsey, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed my prose. ;)

    Lydia, thank you, that's always good to hear!

    Arroyo, thank you!

    Erin, I'm happy I got that message across, now I can breath! Thank you!

    Hayley, thank you!!! :D

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  26. Oooh, really great suspence here- wondering if he'd lost his brother or not and great detail!

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  27. Query Girl, thank you! I really enjoyed your piece, too! I sent you an email! ;)

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  28. Very interesting. The descriptions are evocative. Very well written!

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  29. Stephanie, thank you! And thank you for following! :)

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  30. Hi Elizabeth,
    The emotion really caught me in this dream--I felt the intensity of his emotions. I was a bit confused as to the setting, but that may be due to dropping in mid-story. But you absolutely nailed the emotional component of the dream--well done!
    - Kate

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  32. Hi Kate! Thank you so much for your thoughts. ;)

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  33. Oh, the confusion adds to the fear...very nice. I like that he feels so protective of his brother's welfare, it says a lot about his character and the family dynamic. The reader feels relief when Moggie realizes he was just dreaming and Zag is okay.

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  34. Great work! I love how much emotion is put into this scene.

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  35. I think this works well without Moggie recognizing that it's a dream in the first paragraph. The character's confusion and fear, and disoriented quality give the reader all they need to know. Trust your readers!

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  36. Very intimate; knowing what a character fears. I like the intensity here, the hunt for his brother, the slight mix of reality to give the dream sequency an erie feel.

    Well done.

    ...........dhole

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  37. I liked the flashes of his feelings and reactions to the darkness. Almost like a combination of a night terror and a horrible memory. Nicely done!

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