(photo found here)
Katie, my awesome buddy from the Creepy Query Girl blog, just gave me the keys to her query spoof vault! Woohoo--thank you!
I've read a few from her contest and they've made me laugh! I feel that us writers need a way to poke fun of all these straight-jacket rules. Let our hair down, you know?
This is one she wrote April 9th of this year. Enjoy!! :D
Dear Unspecified Agent,
I came upon your profile through eharmony.com. After reviewing your agency website, I firmly believe my manuscript could be puddy in your strong, well shaped hands. I also like long walks on the beach and sing Sinatra lyrics in the shower.
The world of ‘SAVATAR’ will blow your proverbial socks off. Agent Marmucker has been dealing with the loss of his limbs since the bubblegum factory explosion of 2087. On a secret mission to planet Hooters, Agent M. will have the occasion to live a normal life once more. Through technological mindmelding means, he will incarnate the body of an eleven foot tall native boogyfry named ‘Crut’ and infiltrate their tribe. The knowledge he acquires will change his perception of the human race forever. He alone can prevent a war between the two planets by taming the flaming Spleagle-whats and becoming chief of the boogyfry tribe.
Oh yes, and he SAVES THE WORLD.
This is my first almost finished book and I have been writing non-stop for…..five whole days. I think this could really be the next big thing- bigger than Harry Potter and Twilight put together. I am dead serious. Dead. Serious.
Even my neighborhood psychic Sabine says there’s no doubt that SAVATAR will take the world by storm, and she totally predicted Michael Jackson’s disappearance (he’s still alive, btw) - so trust me when I say that this is a win-win.
Thank you for your time,
Sleep Deprived in Detroit
Do you want a chance at this? I want to hear your own version of query fun, just let me know if you want to and when you post it so I can visit you, please!! I'll work on one, too and post it next Wednesday! ;)