Sunday, March 13, 2011

Something to Hide




I've been struggling lately, to my chagrin, with writing. Yes, I've actually considered giving up because it hasn't brought me the pleasure of thrills I used to experience. Even the thought of attending my most favorite writers conference where I feel like queen, made me feel numb.

My writer wings are drooping, my golden quill dulling.

 It makes me want to cry, because this is not me! Where is the drive? It was as powerful as hunger!

source
You know, something my husband mentioned to me in a prayer together, was that the Lord had set forth in motion my gift of writing and He would want me to pursue it. How much smaller could I feel? I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

Shame on me for snubbing such a wonderful thing from God. Shame! I feel like the prodigal son.

I am not proud to admit any of this, but I want all of you who are writers to know that what you have is truly a gift from Heavenly Father. It is absolutely NO coincidence that you can write a poem. A novel. A short story. An anything! It is a gift from God to share with His children; a chance for YOU to be heard.

I don't want to ever, EVER feel like this again. I don't. I don't want you guys to feel like this, either. If you do, please send me an email (elizabethmueller6ATgmail). I'm really good at building friends up, bringing that old flame to life again so that you can regain that strong drive to writership.

Every time I hear a writer feeling doubts, it feels like an angel losing his or her wings. It's a sad thing, isn't it? I'll do anything to encourage my writerly pal--even if we've never met in person, you're still my friend.

I am not giving up, just so you know...

*I am posting this on all my blogs because I feel it very important to share!

28 comments:

  1. I hear ya! Sometimes the muse just flies out the door and we have to wonder if it'll ever come back.

    This happened to me a couple of years ago when I first went to college (BYUI, baby!) I was suddenly in a world of adults, and I didn't feel on top of everything like I had in high school. I felt so creatively stagnant I told my boyfriend I thought, maybe it was a pipe dream after all. Maybe I should just let my story to rest like a childhood dream. I wasn't that good. I should just let it go.

    He looked at me and said, "That is the stupidest thing you've ever said to me."

    And that was probably the *smartest* thing he ever said to me.

    You can do it! Your husband is right.

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  2. Hi Elizabeth .. turmoil of thoughts often & too much going on .. the Muse is just having a breather .. look after yourself and see you soon.. cheers Hilary

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  3. Hang in there Elizabeth - sounds like you are going through a slump, but don't fear that it will be permanent. Give yourself a break! *hug*

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  4. Wow, this was really something I needed. Thank you for posting this and being so honest and open.

    I agree with Hilary and Trisha. Take a break and don't let doubt whisper that it's over.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend :)

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  5. God gave you the gift to share with others -- and with Him. Give the gift back to Him each day and He will bless it thousandfold and give it back to you.

    You have a very wise, loving husband.

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  6. Am sending you lots of big writer-ly hugs and support!!! :-) Take care

    x

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  7. I concur with other comments about taking a break. Don't doubt, just give yourself permission to focus elsewhere for a while.

    As for doubts, I've been at a standstill for over a year now. It's not a nice feeling, but it makes me wonder if there is something I'm missing...something else I should be doing. I'm not giving up, but haven't yet found the answer.

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  8. Thank you posting something so brutally honest. The Muse is there, she's simply stepped back for a moment. Never forget that it's ok to be kind to yourself. Hugs

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  9. Remember, there is a season for everything, and your gift will flourish again!

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  10. Oh, man. I really love this. Great reminder.

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  11. Thank you, Elizabeth, for such an uplifting and encouraging post. What a blessing. =)

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  12. Hi Elizabeth. Thanks for sharing from the heart. As we say 'this too will pass...' I'm sure you might just need to do something else creative to get those synapses zapping again.

    I don't often get over to comment on your posts - I'm too concerned about all those little baby crusaders who need encouragment, but I forget, we're all human and need encouragement from time to time.

    You're a lovely person and I'll be following your journey out of the 'slough of despond.'

    Denise<3

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  13. Sometimes what was once a joy can feel like work-I'm assuming deadlines and conferences and the like are taking that joy away? Elizabeth, don't push yourself. Take a breather from it for a while then you might just start getting that hunger again. I truly hope you are feeling better today...

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  14. You have too much to offer to ever let satan deter you. Ask the Lord for strength when you get weary

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  15. Christine, I can imagine how shocked you were when he first said that, but how powerful it was. How wise of him, too! I'm glad that he helped you realize it and that you had the strength to pick yourself up, great for you! Thanks for the wake up call! :)

    Hilary, thank you so much. *Hugs*

    Trisha, thank you, I'll do just that. :)

    WC, thank you for your honesty as well. I just read your blog right now. *HUGS* I really needed that, too.

    Mary, thank you SO much for your strength. *Hugs*

    Gail, thank you! ;)

    Jennifer, aww, you're so sweet! Hugs back. :D

    Botanist, wow, great point. I didn't think of it that way. Thank you for the insight. :)

    Margo, thank you for your warmth, I really appreciate it. <3

    Alex, thank you, I'll remember that...

    Melanie, you're welcome. :)

    Raquel, you're welcome. I hope it helps.

    Denise, thank you so much for the encouragement and love. Also for commenting. I know what you mean about the baby crusaders. :)

    Susan, thank you so much for your uplifting validation. *hugs* I do for the most part, still trying to find where I 'fit'. :)

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  16. Anthony, thank you. That's so touching. I will remember that always...

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  17. Writing can be a really lonely profession, and a really intimidating one. I think the most important part about it is the connections we make with other writers and other creative people, because it's so easy to lose mojo otherwise. Hang in there!

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  18. You're such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. In my writing career there have been many times when I thought of giving up. I have been very fortunate to have had people around me who believed in me when I didn't. And you are right! Our talents have been given to us from a loving Father in Heaven. I'm very humbled and grateful for all He has given me. Thanks again!

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  19. I am glad to hear you are not giving up. :)

    Thank you for this uplifting post. I think we all struggle at times and have our doubts. But we continue to write on, and support each other in the process.

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  20. I love your honesty! Perhaps you just need a long break from writing? Sometimes feelings like these are from burnout.

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  21. You have a great husbands. Nice words and I'm glad you took them in.
    I will remember this hopefully.
    Nahno ∗ McLein

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  22. Oh yeah, I've considered quitting before...actually, I haven't written anything since January--getting the house ready has taken up all my spare time. Sometimes I wonder if I'll get back to writing. Something tells me I will though.

    I hope you find the same certainty because you have a lot of talent!

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  23. I love your heartfelt post. I know how empty I feel when the muse takes a holiday without me. It's hard. They always come back though. Rest your soul, pray and be filled with faith. You will find your words again when they are ready to be found.

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  24. Lisa, that is so very true. It's nice to have that support and love from others who share the same passion! <3

    Kathi, you are a very talented lady. I am so happy that you didn't give up because I really LOVE your work. Thank you for being a light! :)

    Liz, true! The fruit of our labors will be so sweet when it's our time to sit back! (If there's such a time to 'sit back') Lol...

    Rebecca, oh, yes. I need to step back and re-evaluate stuff. *sigh* Thanks for stopping by. :)

    Nahno, thank you.

    Laura, I've felt that before. I had writers block and didn't write for months. I decided to drown myself in helping other writers with their crits and stuff. I kinda miss that because it was so fun to help them and I didn't have to stress over my own stuff. Lol. I have NO doubt that you'll find your groove as if it never left. *Hugs*

    Kari, thank you for your loving thoughts of encouragement. I'll do that. I'll need to reorganize the duckies in my head; they've tried to fly south and left tons of feathers about when they crashed into my brain! :D

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  25. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. I'm always afraid that if I admit I want a break...I'm a failure. Then the guilt sets in. I hate feeling guilty about something that doesn't warrant these feelings.

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  26. So sorry to hear you're going through such a rough spot right now. I feel the same way sometimes, if not about writing then about something else that is important to me. Just hang in there and hang onto the feelings and joys you've had with your writing in the past. Sometime we have to live off what we know is out there for us until we can find it again. The conference will help, I'm sure. There's nothing like the energy at a good conference, a gathering of committed writers, to rekindle the flame of your writing passion!

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  27. Nicole, I feel that way too! But maybe I feel it would make us stronger, too, you know? It's still hard because then I'd feel guilty; as if I'm abandoning it. *sigh*

    Elizabeth, thank you so much for the support! You're right. I'll keep that in mind. <3 I hope group was fun today. I had a RS activity. Did you have fun?

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