Tuesday, April 26, 2011

♥.•*¨V is for . . .

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Visceral!

What is visceral? It is the bodily happenings when someone is experiencing an emotion. When you include that in your writing, it gives the reader a sense of reality and connection with your characters.

Let's see how John, my temp MC, reacts to this sentence:

The creature, eyeless in the deep night, slithered closer; death in its breath.

Before:

 John fell and screamed, unable to move.


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After:

John fumbled, his hands like blocks of trembling ice, his feet leaden things that weighed his heart to a standstill.


Do you illicit visceral reactions in your characters?

19 comments:

  1. Love your excerpts, and this is a fun experiment!

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  2. John's first reaction is how I imagine I would react when faced by a monster. And then I'd get eaten.

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  3. What a great V word! Love the examples, fear the Creature, sympathise with John :-)

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  4. Vuh, vuh, vuh very good illustration.

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  5. Great blog - and a great "V" word. Definitely grabbed me.

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  6. Wow! Wonderful V-Word post in A2Z blogging challenge.

    I love your post and blog.

    Please stop by my blog and if you feels its worthy to follow, please follow it.

    With warm welcome,

    http://mydaughtersdreams.blogspot.com

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  7. Your after remake of your sentence gets it in one!! Yay for you!!! The pics are fab too btw!!

    Take care
    x

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  8. Great V word and great example pf showing rather than telling.

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  9. Hi Elizabeth..

    Great writing style..indeed terrific..

    Thanks for following me..I found u as an awesome writer and a marvelous illustrator..

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  10. Elizabeth...you have a wonderful writing style, or shall I say vonderful..loved the excerpts.

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  12. Trisha, thank you!

    Mood, lol! Yes, I would too! :D

    River, thank you!

    Karla, thank you!

    Em, lol, thank you :)

    Salarsen, thanks!

    Gujjari, thank you!

    Talli, thank you!

    Jennifer, I'm glad you like. :)

    Catherine, thank you!

    Tomz, you're welcome! Thank you for the luv!

    Rachna, *wink* Thank you! :D

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  13. Love your after version. This is something I so need to learn how to do better.

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  14. Love the description of the creature. Very visual. I love giving my characters visceral reactions to situations. It makes it all more immediate and exciting.

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  15. Donna, thank you! It's something that I'm still working with.

    Melissa, thank you!

    Shari, thank you! :)

    Melissa, isn't it great? I would love to read something of yours! <3

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