Friday, June 22, 2012

Trouble in Paradise


I had posted a review for Kevin McGill's amazing book a week ago and was surprised by the backstage hits it got. Here I haven't been blogging, and you have been showing love for me? I find that extremely humbling...

Let me share with you some crazy things that have been going on.

First, I've lost sight of why I started to blog. It became a task as I scrambled my brain, trying to think of things I think you'd like to see. I started comparing myself to the great Elana Johnson and how full of useful writerly and authorly info is always packed on there. I tried to keep up with her by posting like stuff, but it soon wore me. How destructive is it for me to compare myself?

I've taken workshops on how to be an effective writer and how to make my blog appealing to readers. I soon felt inadequate and unworthy (yes, silly to say, but true) to continue posting at all.

Guess what? I was trying way too hard and becoming something I was not.

Being a published author has done some crazy things to my brain. I no longer think of my blog as my personal backyard, but as a place I must appear gracious, graceful, and polite but also as a pubic relations representing yours truly. I've most certainly lost sight of myself here on the web. These wild ideas have taken me far offshore from where I want to be. My lack of confidence has created a huge mental block that tells me "I can't." I literally feel blinded from being able to function as I once had before I was published, and it always leaves me feel for wanting and always lacking.

I want to have fun and make it simple, heart-felt, and helpful. Where have I gone wrong?

I just wanted to share my thoughts with you. I'm gathering my broken courage streamed across the web so that I may return with confidence in my ability to blog without losing myself in the fluff of author politics (oh boy, what was I thinking!?!)

How do you go about reinventing yourself if you ever have? Please share with me your thoughts so that I can know where I can begin...

9 comments:

  1. I think you are very special and am certain you will find your voice again. Actually, I think you already have. Much love from a fellow writer

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  2. Just be the gorgeous creative and wonderfully talented self! Blog what makes you happy!!
    :-) Take care
    x

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  3. Just go back to your passions! You know my blog isn't the typical author blog. I just blog about what I enjoy whether it has anything to do with me being an author or not.

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    1. So true, Alex. Yes, you're blog isn't typical, but very fun! :D

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  4. Just keep breathing... Seriously, that's how I keep reinventing myself. Of course, running after 4 kids that now span from elementary school, junior high, high school, and college, breathing can be a little rough. lol

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    1. Whew! Breathe, indeed! Mine are strewn from elementary to high school. No college yet, but in a few years! Yikes!

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  5. I can relate- I'm having trouble myself with some of the same things you are touching base on. I'm reinventing myself and spent several months away from my blog while i completed my English degree. Now I feel like I'm running blind through the caverns of the blog world.

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